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Blodget Predicts Dow to Hit 5,000 by 1996

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) — Far-sighted Merrill Lynch analyst Henry Blodget, who this week boldly downgraded the battered stocks of Buy.com, DoubleClick, iVillage, eToys, Pets.com, and barnesandnoble.com — which are off an average of 86 percent this year — threw caution to the wind this morning and predicted the Dow Jones Industrial Average could hit 5,000 sometime during 1996.

In other daring predictions, Blodget said the Internet, a burgeoning network of computers scattered across the globe, will someday spawn several major companies, reinvigorate the career of washed-up actor William Shatner, and allow analysts to become celebrities for no apparent reason.

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